Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
