And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
