Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
