Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Randomize
