So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I am naked and annoyed.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
