just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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