i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
