Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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