I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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