So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
