Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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