I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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