the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
