Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
