I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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