suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Randomize
