I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
