He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
