Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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