census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
