Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
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