Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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