Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
