wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
