I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
sex in a hospital.. check
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
