I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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