he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
