it wasn't lemon gatorade
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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