How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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