Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
The struggles of a small town man whore
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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