What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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