Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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