She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
