I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
No more Irish car bombs ever.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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