You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
She bit a glass in half.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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