i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
