Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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