Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
