i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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