I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
