By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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