I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
