Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
