It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
