the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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