Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I could fuck to npr.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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