That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
