We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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