Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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