Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
well you can't waste a boner
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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