I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
