Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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